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Real Client Stories:
April 23rd, 2009
Dear Greg,
I am writing this to you in the hopes that perhaps you can somehow use my story to help other clients, or even other counselors. You have my permission to share any additional information about my counseling that will help illustrate the effectiveness of EMDR. I know it works. I am hopeful that through these words and your work, EMDR will be more widely utilized to save and change lives as it has mine.
There is so much about what has transpired since June 23rd that I am unable to explain...but I will begin where it began.
I came to South Carolina with a rental car filled with nothing of value, especially me. Broken hearted, abused, sick and afraid, my shift in geography proved only that I had chosen a new nowhere, and was still not dead. You were a face on a website with a quote about EMDR that said, "Most profound results in the shortest amount of time." Well I needed profound results and I was out of time so I came to you on that first day, sick with fear, giving a history that repulsed me: Age 61, one failed marriage, a second divorce pending, 5 children (1 stillborn), 2 cancers, insomnia, synesthesia, a paralyzing fear of men, physical, emotional and sexual abuse, a victim of MBP as a child, and "leaving," my code word for dissociation...all revealed while Susan, my other self, stood crying outside your office window.
What you didn't know was that while you were busy taking notes and playing "silence chicken" (that annoying game that therapists invented to illicit information during those terminally long gaps in conversation) I was spending the last 45 minutes of my life with you; a counselor, a stranger and (of all things) a man. I was making a decision...to either find a reason to live or proceed with my plan. What was left, the other me who actually cared enough to keep living, had been reduced to a whisper that was becoming inaudible.
I was so disoriented during that first counseling session that I could only see your eyes and hear your voice talking about "EMDR and moving in the direction of better." For some reason hearing the word "better" sounded attainable. I had always seen wellness as black or white, crazy or normal. Now you were using the word "better" as if it were meant for me. Isn't it incredible how one little word, well timed and softly spoken can shine hope on despair? So based on your belief I decided to return. After all, once you've lost yourself what does losing time mean? So I made another appointment and postponed my plan by one week...and 45 minutes.
As I started to leave you didn't say "good bye." Had you expressed anything that final to me I don't know if I would have made it home. Instead you wished me a peaceful, pleasant day. To my recollection, I had never had a peaceful, pleasant day so your comment seemed ludicrous. As I backed out of the driveway, it struck me that your office, positioned so serenely in the woods, was on a cul-de-sac, something I had failed to recognize when I arrived. I should have found it ironic that you were actually the "end of the road." Instead it was symbolic, perhaps even prophetic, that seeking your help would either be a dead end or a turn around. My contemplation, however, was interrupted by Susan who began ranting in the back seat. She was angry that I had not given up and furious about my betrayal. I had told you about "leaving"...my first admission of dissociation to anyone. Susan and I had been exposed. We were naked before a stranger. We sobbed all the way home, but for very different reasons.
When we began the following week I was suddenly and quite unexpectedly catapulted into my trauma memory network. With acute sensory awareness, I found myself gagging on flavors, choking on smells and suffering the touch of hands that had purposed to hurt me. I was re-living the terror and it was as real to me as when it first happened. But through your guidance and EMDR, the tapping and breathing, the asking and revealing, I found that the bad had become something better, something I could accept, and that a dangerous incident had been replaced by a safe reflection.
Over the course of the next few weeks, there were breakdowns where I learned to cry out loud and breakthroughs where I heard laughter...mine. I identified the initial source of trauma and dissociation which led to perspective on the abusive patterns that characterized my life path. Sometimes it got ugly and the noise of my pain was deafening but you kept me moving and I began to hear music instead of clamor resonating around me and within me. The dissociation stopped during the first month of treatment. The safety I now experience has so completely filled my life that I no longer need that escape. And the synesthesia, that you asked me to consider as a gift, now allows me to experience the beauty of my life on sensory levels that often defy description.
The mental and emotional healing has been profound but there are other significant outcomes as a result of EMDR. I experienced changes in my physiology. I lost 30 pounds without dieting or increased exercise. My body feels as if it has been re-sculpted not just in size but in shape. My muscle tone and flexibility increased as have my energy levels. My youthful appearance has been the subject of much discussion and considerable questioning by others as I am seen to be a different woman. And after wearing glasses since the age of 10, I now have perfect vision.
As I continue with EMDR, the therapy has become even more efficient. Issues get resolved quickly and the work we do now is more focused on the present than the past. I am living independently, employed in an all male environment (you still find that amusing, don't you?), experiencing personal freedom, and embracing this rebirth with great wonder.
I wish I could say that EMDR restored me to health, but this has not been a restoration... this has been a transformation. I am walking around in a body I have never known, living a life I had never dreamed, my mind, body and spirit made alive. It has been miraculous.
You know how thankful I am. You always defer to the method and your mission when I get overwhelmed with gratitude. But I think it is important that your potential clients - and the counselors you train - understand this incredible treatment...how it really can change lives. So as you lead and they follow and you ask the pivotal question, "What are you getting..." That distant voice you hear will be mine replying..."better." That is my prayer for every client touched by the work that you do.
I gave you 45 minutes, Greg. It was all I had left to give. You gave me EMDR and a future. It doesn't seem like a fair exchange, does it? That small bit of time for a new life? But I know that we did our best, you and I. God has done the rest.
Blessings...
M.K. - Greenville, SC
July 31, 2003
Dear Greg,
Thank you so very much for working with Thomas, and helping our family get back to normal! John and I still can't believe how quickly and completely Thomas recovered after meeting with you. Please feel free to use our family's testimony, and I will be available to speak about our experience any time you need.
In November 2002, our 6-year-old son, Thomas, watched the movie The Predator. (For the record, I had nothing to do with this!) He immediately began exhibiting symptoms of severe stress and fear. Unfortunately, that same weekend, he took a serious tumble and hit his head quite hard, so I attributed his behavior to his head injury. I was so convinced that his behavior was caused by the fall, that I took him to our family doctor, who ordered a CAT scan (which, of course, was normal).
Thomas' initial symptoms of bedwetting, and sleeplessness continued, increasing in frequency. By Christmas, the bedwetting had lessened, but Thomas no longer slept in his own room, but in ours, on the floor. If we forced him (by threat of punishment, which I now regret) to go to bed in his own room, he would sneak into our room during the night, and we would find him in the morning. When we realized no amount of punishment or reward would convince him to spend the night in his own bed, we just made a place for him in our room.
Even while sleeping in our room, he was very restless, waking often during the night, unable to get back to sleep. He also started talking during his sleep, and the things he said were quite disturbing. He began sleepwalking, and was difficult to wake in the morning. (Our whole family was beginning to exhibit symptoms of sleep deprivation, but Thomas and I were bearing the brunt of it.)
As the weeks wore on, the situation deteriorated. Thomas, normally a happy, social, bright boy, became sullen, anxious, and easily angered. He would no longer stay alone in a room, not even to take a bath. During the day, when I would take my shower, he would sit outside the bathroom door. He would not go down to the playroom to get a game or toy, unless someone went with him.
As a home-schooled student, Thomas has always been bright & focused, easy to teach. He became extremely distracted and fidgety, unable to sit still for even the simplest task. He cried easily and had negative, intrusive thoughts. He would frequently tell me that he "couldn't get the bad thoughts out" of his head. He started lying. His hands began to shake all the time. I had several friends ask me what was wrong with my son. Even his swim coach noticed a marked decrease in his attention span during practice and at meets. His times had inexplicably gotten significantly worse, and he looked strikingly awkward and uncoordinated - like he had somehow forgotten how to swim.
During this time, I maintained an open line of communication with Thomas, trying to get him to talk about what was bothering him. I intensely monitored his associations with others, looking for some clue to his behavior. I asked him to draw pictures of his "bad thoughts," and then we would discuss them, focusing on the difference between reality and fantasy. I changed his diet, removing all caffeine and most sugar, and limited his dairy. I no longer allowed him to play computer games or watch television (except for what he saw when his father and sister were watching). All this was not to punish him, but a desperate effort to somehow "fix" him.
In March, Thomas was invited to spend the night with a friend from church. This little boy and his family are very familiar to Thomas, and he had spent the night on more than one occasion with them. Since he slept with his sister sometimes (when John and I needed a break, Pressly would volunteer for "night watchman" duty) and did fine, we did not expect any problems. At 11:30 pm, we received a call from Thomas, tearfully asking us to come get him. This was the first time he had ever done that. That night was my awakening. I realized my son was not getting better, and that I needed to get him some help.
While I was exploring different avenues for obtaining help for Thomas, a good friend suggested I call a counselor she knew named Greg Smith. I met with Greg, who asked some questions about what had been going on. He then asked if he could talk to Thomas, after getting some background information from me. I was agreeable, and Thomas was relaxed about it, since he so desperately wanted to get over the thoughts and feelings that had been troubling him for more than four months at that point.
When Greg met with me, he presented the EMDR theory. I was very skeptical because, from my Christian background, it sounded like "new age, hocus-pocus stuff" (my words). However, we trusted Greg and knew his reputation as a very professional counselor, so we set up an appointment for Thomas.
After only two actual EMDR sessions with Greg, we noticed a marked change for the better: He started sleeping soundly in his own room...he became talkative and cheerful again...he took a bath with the door closed...his hands stopped shaking...his anxiety level dropped he no longer talked about "bad thoughts"...he focused on his schoolwork...he no longer seemed nervous, jumpy, or fidgety...and his swim times bounced back to where they were before all this started! Everyone who knows Thomas noticed the difference. One of our friends who had previously expressed her concern commented, "He seems so happy again!" In a nutshell, all his symptoms were 100% resolved, and Thomas was back to the happy, joyful, lighthearted, smiling, warm, affectionate, loving, excited child that we hadn't seen for months.
It has been four months since Thomas "became normal again," and we are still amazed and so very, very thankful. I am so grateful that God used my friend to lead us to Greg Smith. EMDR changed our life, and gave us our son back.
- Chris Caldwell, 7-31-03
"Greg has provided exceptional counseling and clearly he is dedicated to helping others. His sincere approach is most welcome! I have had years of "conventional" counseling and felt that I gained little ground and insight to the truly important issues controlling my life. Greg in a few counseling sessions has opened my eyes and mind to actually see what's been in front of me for years! It was a great relief to know I won't have to spend the next 5 years in counseling to move forward. EMDR really works! I would recommend to anyone who is truly serious about obtaining lifelong results to try EMDR. I've only seen Greg a short time; however, as a "veteran" of counseling, I've never experienced the results I have with Greg!"
- from a new client, after only 8 sessions
"My life is like a whole new experience thanks to you and your help. The goals and strategies we laid out at the beginning of counseling are truly being realized in my life. There are not enough words to express how happy, fruitful, and blessed things have been thanks to you. The summer has been truly blissful for me and I finally feel that I am no longer controlled by the issues that one haunted me. For that I am so thankful."
- from a former client, 3 months after counseling complete
"Before I came to see Greg, I hit bottom.. I felt terrible about myself and my surroundings. Very few things in my life made it worth living. Since I began counseling I have felt better about myself and learned new ways of looking at things. Greg is trustworthy & non-judgemental - he is a friend. I feel much healthier and feel that I'm a better person. Life is worth living again. Thank you!"
- from a current client
"I honestly don't know how the counseling experience could have been any better. It has opened a window for me to truly be able to look back where I came from, understand how it affected the way I used to look at life, and be unafraid to make the changes to be a better me. I am happier and closer to God than I have ever been - thanks again!"
- from a current client
"Before seeing Greg I was feeling the world spiral downward on me. The despair was overwhelming. In time, with some great counseling I crawled out of my hole smelling like roses & feeling not on top of the world, but just a step away. I feel renewed, and look forward to getting back to life. Thanks Greg!"
- from a current client
"Greg Smith is a wonderful counselor! I've seen many counselors over the past years and in only a short time, he has helped me more than any other counselor. If you are considering seeing him - you are in the right place. I thank God for helping me find him."
- from a new client, after 10 sessions
"I definitely recommend Greg to anyone with any type of emotional problem. He is thorough, and a good listener. I was pleased that he was able to probe to the source of my emotional problem and successfully provide therapy with EMDR."
- from a former client
"Greg made counseling comfortable. I have never had any kind of counseling before, and what I was expecting was totally different than what I got - which was great! Greg makes the experience wonderful and rewarding."
- from a current client
"It's hard to believe something that's bothered me for so long could be so easy to fix - many thanks!
- from a former client, 3 months after having only 2 EMDR sessions
"He is very skilled in the areas of depression and anxiety."
- from a former client
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